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Maybe my age is showing, but I don't understand why it's so hard to find someone who really want a monogamous relationship which involves honesty, fidelity and longevity. In today's society everything is disposable, including someone's heart; and television doesn't help matters any by parading scantily clad teenage girls in front of middle-aged men or buffed out steroid driven men in front of love-starved women and the rest of us are suppose to compete with that.
It's any wonder why anyone would want to work hard at a relationship because if we're not happy with what we currently have, we tend to move on to something else ... however, what ends up happening is what we most fear .... being alone and unloved! How sad.
I've been alone for a long while now because I refuse to be someone else's garbage, to be thrown away after my use has been depleted or a new toy comes on the market. I choose to wait for that special someone who will think of me as that unique special treasure they wish to keep for the rest of their lives. I hope to find that for myself and for all of you as well.
I am the prexident of the fire dept and ceo of the board of directors. My business that I've been in for 30+ years is here. And last, but not least my 2 gurls that live with me full time are still in school..................That's why I can't move
I agree with you Dan that one must love one's self.....hard one for me. I also agree love is earned not entitled to....BUT, in a marriage is MUST be worked on and maintained BY BOTH...once thats isnt happening...trust me the spouse that was will soon stop as well. Esp if the other spouse wont get help. True love...the kind that "doesnt exsist" does....but most wont ever find it, just a great love. But if your one of the few that finally finds that love that is beyound any love you know.....it is the best and "working" on your relatioship is no longer work, but a mutral event....something you do daily and it makes the love that much more amazing.
What I find amazing is that when one does, love oneself, yet has it within themselves to love another unconditionally, that kind of love is not returned. It is seen as weak or it's taken for granted and the pure love you've given is handled as an after-thought from your beloved. Just trying to connect with someone of the same moral fiber as you is difficult as best in a generation where instant gratification is king and working on maintaining a relationship is too hard when the illusion of something better is just over the hill.
If I were you her ass would be out the door so fast she wouldn't even hear the screen door slam shut behind her ... but then again, that's me. The reason I'm single is because I've been cheated on and had my heart handed to me on a butcher's block. I do admit to having trust issues. To me trust is earned and not freely given, and if you want my opinion she has burned that bridge to ash! It seems to me, she's hanging on to you cause she has no other place to go ... what would have happened had he left his wife for her? What would happen should she decide to cheat with someone else? How much more of that will you take before she ruins you for a good woman who will love you back and appreciate you as a man? Don't you think you deserve better? These are the questions you need to ask yourself.
I would rather be single and WANT a relationship than to be in a relationship because I NEED to be in one. Even if it's bad for my emotional health. That's not good for anyone.
Man, where do I begin? So many good points, and I agree with Fyrefly...both need to work at a relationship. Ive never understood why if someone isnt happy with someone else, why they just dont end it friendly and move on...instead of cheating.
My first Wife and I were together for 7 years. I loved and respected her every second of every day, making little surprises for her and gifts and romantic gestures. She had 3 kids form a previous marriage and I loved them like they were my own, they even called me "Daddy". After seven years, she approaches me day after christmas and says "I dont love you, never have. You were a second income and support for my kids. I have been with someone else from work for a few months now, can I have a Divorce?" Like she was asking me to pass the salt!!!.............That destroyed me.
I find I have lost trust in my faith for the opposite sex after repeatedly dating women who all cheated on me, instead of just breaking up with me, like its easier to just anger me and make me leave so they dont have to deal with me anymore. My heart has been broken so many times I should have a Bionic heart installed. All I ever wanted growing up and watching my parents, was to find that special someone to spend the rest of my life with...Now Im on Marriage #2 and THAT is falling apart as well. Im separated and live with my brother and sister-in-law. I see them everyday, so much in love and it hurts inside, I desire to have what they have but cant seem to find it. I work so hard to be open, honest, and share in the sacrifices but it never seems like enough and she always wants more.
I feel for you Fyre and know where you are coming from, will we ever find the right one??
Aww Moose.........there is nothing i can say to make you stop hurting....I so understand your pain and the pain of a failed marriage........((sigh)) they say time heals all pain....and that love will come again.......I pray for you things become clearer to you soon and that you find something in life to smile about again! hugz, Helen
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