My Faith is a deep part of the person I was before the TBI and it's not going to fade away. My stubbornness refuses to let go of the peacefulness my Faith held for me day to day. The morning I woke up to realize my Faith was back was similar to recognizing a face I'd forgotten long ago. It is something I don't want to let go of again. Does this mean my Faith is a bigger part of me than I had realized or worse taken for granted?
I've always had a deep abiding Faith. Prayer held a… Continue
Added by Bree N. on March 25, 2015 at 6:00am —
The most dangerous of flirting is flirting with my triggers for PTSD. It seems to be an act which is meaningless. Why go back there to the place of hurt? It borders on self-flagellation. I look back now and realize I wanted to keep hurting deep inside because I couldn’t let it out, couldn’t talk about it. I’d become a tightrope walker when it came to my personal triggers.
Need someone to help your PD students to test out on ‘pretend’ victims? I’m on it. I’ll sign those forms and… Continue
Added by Bree N. on March 22, 2015 at 8:31am —
If you would be so kind as to take a brief moment to follow the link below to take a very brief survey. This survey is part of my capstone research project for a Masters Degree in Public Administration I am completing. Any and all help is appreciated, Thank you!!
Added by Joe Szewczyk on March 20, 2015 at 9:34am —
I did everything right. I did all those things I was told to do. Used my real name, protected my tweets, kept my FaceBook account only for family, used a nickname for a dating site and never met anyone except in a public place. The entire time I had no clue I was being stalked online which eventually crossed over into my day to day world. In the end did I do anything wrong? No. I followed the rules of the online world somehow believing I would never be a target.
I will probably… Continue
Added by Bree N. on March 20, 2015 at 6:00am —
I unzip the zipper of my violin case and as I open it I can smell the rosin inside the case. A soft cloth covers my violin protecting it from the bows. I gently remove it and sigh a long shaky breath. The wood glows softly in the light from the window. I remember this instrument, I feel a very familiar anticipation as I look at this beauty hiding inside this dull case.
As I pick it up I realize I don’t have a clue anymore how to play it.
When did this happen? How can I not… Continue
Added by Bree N. on March 18, 2015 at 6:00am —
PTSD: crawling in the dark
It’s dark, so dark. I feel the cold, damp underneath my knee pads as I crawl with a dimming light. “what can you see? What do you hear?” the voice next to me and off to the side asks. “I see cement slabs, gravel, dirt, leaves and I think I see an opening ahead about a person’s length ahead.” I stop and breathe, listen to my surroundings. I ask myself if I can hear anything besides the sound of my heart beating. What do I smell? What can I… Continue
Added by Bree N. on March 15, 2015 at 6:00am —
The unanswerable questions are what haunt me in the night. Those questions pursue me until I wake up panting for air. Sweating and overheated I bolt awake. I swallow back yet another scream. In my nightmare I’d been screaming for what seemed like hours on end until I was hoarse. As I wake up my throat hurts again as if I was still in this place where no questions could ever be answered. I have no answers and I know I never will.
The unanswerable. Those are the worst. Those moments… Continue
Added by Bree N. on March 13, 2015 at 6:00am —
Things are not the same.I... I am not the same. I look around and realize my life has not only changed, but I have changed. This brain injury changed everything. My life had slid into the mudhole deep before I injured my brain. Kind of the whole “add insult to injury” feeling there. I’d seemingly been a dabbler. I wasn’t. I read back over my journals from that time and I read the frustration held inside those entries. The innate need to keep safe kept me holding everyone at not only arm’s… Continue
Added by Bree N. on March 11, 2015 at 6:00am —
I’m a rambler, and I think I probably was before too but the agitation with my PTSD sometimes makes it worse. I ramble on and on in sessions which now I get clocked on when I do. The trust level after close to a year of consistent appointments is quite high so I don’t get offended. Rambling is also my way to ‘avoid’. It’s an avoidance tactic for me.
In uniform it was the ‘bubble head’ tactic which worked well for me so it’s probably a learned tactic. One to use when I don’t want to… Continue
Added by Bree N. on March 8, 2015 at 11:08am —
Wins have become an important part of the process of healing for me on my path. If I don’t acknowledge there have been wins it just seems as if nothing is moving forward. I’m deeply grateful for being able to recognize them now. At first I thought it was just like bragging to myself. This didn’t feel okay, it felt selfish. Now I get it though. I see it for what it is. It’s growth happening. It might be small but it’s growth and that’s all that counts.
Facing up to something hard to… Continue
Added by Bree N. on March 6, 2015 at 6:00am —
Selection and Training
Establish and implement a selection process that will determine the most
qualified personnel to drive emergency vehicles, as well as those who are allowed
to respond in their own vehicles.
Ensure that adequate training is provided to all personnel who drive emergency
vehicles. The National Fire Protection Association (NFPA) 1002, Standard for
Driver/Operator Professional Qualifications…
Added by Bob Allard on March 4, 2015 at 11:13am —
Confusion. Some days it consumes me in the most annoying of moments. The confusion happens when I forget about important things. I’ve been sick for 5 weeks. I’d forgotten how long I’d been sick. I didn’t want to be sick and so I just kept forgetting. I’d been coughing for 4 weeks. My therapist pointed out that my cough had been going on for the last 2 appointments. So add another week in there? 5 weeks total. Too long. I had to make an actual commitment to getting in the urgent care clinic and… Continue
Added by Bree N. on March 4, 2015 at 6:00am —
**post contains bullying references**
Society seems to have moved towards a mental attitude where pulling apart those perceived as “imperfect people’ and taking a sick joy in hurting them until they can’t take anymore as acceptable behavior.
No it isn’t.
This isn’t acceptable. It’s just not.
On the job, or for me the many jobs, bullying was contained in an agenda I’d not been aware of before taking on the jobs. Bullying was not always… Continue
Added by Bree N. on March 1, 2015 at 6:00am —
Sunday brunch 9'til noon -- someone bring the Tim Tams or donuts! Coffee needed!
3 o'clock Sunday -- companion animals, do you have one or know someone who does? Does your pet fill that need for the calm?
Sunday Supper at 6pm -- PTSD/TBI and family, how are your Sunday Suppers? Is your PTSD/TBI a 'guest' at your table?
9pm to Midnight -- I can't sleep!! Sound familiar? Come on in and stay awhile!
Added by Bree N. on February 28, 2015 at 9:24am —
The suspect had a laundry list of beefs about his treatment at the hands of two city cops who tried to arrest him after outstanding warrants surfaced during a traffic stop in North Carolina.
In his federal civil rights lawsuit, for which he served as his own… Continue
Added by Officer Derek Tomlinson on February 28, 2015 at 1:25am —
Earlier in the week my daughter and I were in the kitchen. I asked “what time is it?” as I washed dishes. She replied she thought it was 3pm. Okay, I have plenty of time to make dinner later at 6pm. We chatted some more just enjoying our conversation and she left the kitchen. She came flying back into the kitchen and cried out, “Mama! I am so sorry it’s 6pm not 3. I don’t know why I thought it was 3.” She blushed in embarrassment.
Shocking her I burst out laughing as I realized I was… Continue
Added by Bree N. on February 27, 2015 at 6:00am —
FOX13 News has told you about Memphis Police officers turning in their badges and their guns and looking for new jobs. Continue
Frustration with city benefit cuts are leading to an exodus of officers.
FOX13 News has learned it's happening in the city's fire department too.
We've heard the complaints for months and letters obtained by FOX13 News confirm it. Bluff City firefighters and paramedics are leaving the city to take new jobs.
“It's like anything…
Added by Capt. D Lewis on February 26, 2015 at 8:00pm —
I had an astounding thought upon waking up Monday morning. “What if today was a planned different day? Can I change my groundhog days? Now I know my days are different, they just seem the same to me. There is still a struggle each day to realize today is (fill in the blank) day and tomorrow is (fill in the blank) day. Every single day I struggle with this. It’s the ongoing sense of being stuck in the ‘groundhog day’. But what if I chose to change this?
Sit down and make some lists.… Continue
Added by Bree N. on February 25, 2015 at 6:00am —
After a very long day on Friday with my son’s doctor appointment and etceteras we had a martial arts tournament to attend on Saturday. Martial Arts have been a part of our family’s life for ten years now. My son is an instructor now had a student we wanted to be supportive of while he competed on Saturday. I had no idea they’d changed the competition schedules which made us be there for nine and a half hours.
This was a strain big time on my PTSD issues as people crowded against each… Continue
Added by Bree N. on February 22, 2015 at 6:00am —
We got rescheduled for my son’s appointment with the Neurologist. My reactions to this - "Good, he’s being seen a good week earlier than expected". Then, wow is it ever making me agitated, nervous and scared of what he’s looking at.
This appointment is all about him, it is not about ME at all. Okay, I fess up that I have to repeat this statement to myself often in these moments of serious issues happening. I have to put my crud aside and try very very hard to focus on the task at… Continue
Added by Bree N. on February 21, 2015 at 6:00am —