Super Bowl Sunday. It's a day most are planning for, excited about, fixing all kinds of foods, drinks and inviting friends over. Yet I've been decompensating for weeks now. I got through the Autumn, through the trigger happy holidays. Now what? I have seen so many mentions about Super Bowl Sunday that I finally got it.
Just over 2 weeks ago I found an old cell phone. Out of curiosity I charged it up, mainly to see if the whole "carry old cell phones in emergency kits to call 911'… Continue
Added by Bree N. on January 30, 2015 at 6:00am —
Thank you all for the birthday wishes I have been busy lately here with the new Firefighter 1 course that is being changed and I have also been baby sitting the grand-kids as the little one (aubree) was back in the hospital overnight as she has asma, long story, she is out and play and fighting with her brother.
But thanks and the weather here is cold, we missed the Big Storm that hit the East coast, sounds like it fizzled, but hey its winter and I am in WNY. Hope that the ones that… Continue
Added by Bob Allard on January 28, 2015 at 10:07am —
Memory issues make the slights of life kind of interesting for me. I used to get really caught up in the drama, taking things personally in my private life, or worse the drama of online communities. Now, it's just different. I literally only have of a sense of agitation instead of being upset. Now I know only because I do document a lot of my day, I'll actually just forget it and move on. In some ways this is a gift not the curse I originally thought it was.
Do I get offended? not… Continue
Added by Bree N. on January 28, 2015 at 6:00am —
Live in or near Pierce County Washington?
There are few who are willing to put themselves at risk for the benefit of others or who volunteer emergency care to someone in need. To be among those who make this a career is worthy of special acknowledgement.
My military experience gave me a high level of appreciation for those who routinely respond to difficult situations. When I retired and entered real estate I had a great desire to give something back to the men and women who… Continue
Added by Jim Muscatell on January 26, 2015 at 10:49pm —
Yeah....then there's that.
The unmentionable of the most unmentionable. On my own path with this I had to go through this one too. Fairly young for it, bloodwork discovered I was 'pre' and the only hormone low as testosterone. Therein became a very long, eight year battle of the hormones and PTSD. There are those out there who always argue with me that women aren't given testosterone, but they are. There is also a reason that EMTs are trained to ask women if they are on Viagra. So… Continue
Added by Bree N. on January 25, 2015 at 6:00am —
Groundhog day. This week someone described what my days are like as each day being a "groundhog day". To be honest they are very similar. My days are like a groundhog day in that each day is a new day. There are no yesterdays, no tomorrows except occasionally. The urgency I used to have about yesterday and tomorrow are just not there. Perhaps these "groundhog days" are a gift in a way?
My visual memory has been demolished. This I know. Yet as I've healed slowly it comes back and I… Continue
Added by Bree N. on January 23, 2015 at 7:30am —
Being home alone and doing chores, taking a shower, talking a long walk or run. That's what my life contained before the TBI. My life was pretty routinized as I'd been working through PTSD issues. Then the nothingness, the forgetfulness after my head being slammed so hard I had Battle's signs on the left side although they didn't show immediately. I knew I was hurt more than I should have been. I was in such deep denial. My embarrassment wouldn't allow me to justify calling EMS. My subsequent… Continue
Added by Bree N. on January 21, 2015 at 7:30am —
**Possible Trigger post***
Anymore I had difficulties remembering what last year was like, or even the year before. I know we had a profound loss of the matriarch of our family, I know I had to take my long time 'browned out' drug/protection dog to be put to sleep and I know that some terrible things happened in addition to this.
Most of all I know the response I have when things get tough, get too crowded. It was only a few months ago that I had a session that set off a… Continue
Added by Bree N. on January 20, 2015 at 3:14pm —
Life just throws me for a loop sometimes. Triggers happen when I least expect them nor want them too. My eidetic memory returns so clearly at moments only to slip away again when I most want it to stay. Unreliable. This is how I see myself right now. I can't be counted on for remembering important things. If I don't put multiple alarms on my phone I forget to eat, to go to an appointment and worst of all, I often just forget what the alarm was for.
My most difficult issue is the… Continue
Added by Bree N. on January 20, 2015 at 3:12pm —
Stress, feelings. They are supposed to go hand in hand right? What happens when your stress response is to just go so still inside? So quiet, so still that the stillness there is just a landscape of nothingness. I had the realization today what the domino effect of the original 'event' and subsequent triggers did.
There was no longer any screaming, no crying, no fighting back. Even though I'd thought I'd won because I got free? They'd won in ways I never understood. They'd won long… Continue
Added by Bree N. on January 20, 2015 at 3:10pm —
***Strong Triggers in post**
I listen to a song today and it reminds me of how often I need to just breathe. Why this is so hard I do know, yet I still indulge in the moments of suspended animation. Trying to hold on to the moment to make things just stop. Just please stop. All this accomplishes is to cause a pounding in my head making my TBI injury location hurt with blinding pain. My chest constricts and my heart is pounding in my ribs so hard. All I've done is to make my… Continue
Added by Bree N. on January 18, 2015 at 6:00pm —
First responders have downloaded more than 10,000 copies of a guide to commercially available, hand-portable biodetection technologies created to help them determine what they might be up against in the field. Since many first responders do not always have immediate access to a computer, a mobile version of the guide is… Continue
Added by Fyre Walker on January 12, 2015 at 12:22am —
Into the unknown.
I've lain bleeding, broken in spirit, believing it would always be so. I've crawled, dragging myself towards the light of the day and finally, finally stood outside feeling the warmth of the sun. Now after walking into the light of day, of living my life, fully living in the sun, comes the unknown.
It is becoming time to walk through all of what life has to toss my way, to take that walk alone. This excites me, moves me further to a place of happiness… Continue
Added by Bree N. on January 1, 2015 at 5:30am —