The impossible...to just stop taking any assistive sleep medication. Tough to sleep at all yet the anxiety is receding. Perhaps, as many have said before they thought they worsen symptoms. Maybe so. But as one thing recedes another takes its place. I've just stopped attempting to "be positive" for now. Just focus on getting past the withdrawal even after cutting back slowly. The medical prescribers don't ever seem to understand that this happens. The PDR warns about it, soooo? Is it just a…Continue
Sleep. It's been an elusive quest for me 2005. First it was waking up and being unable to return to sleep. Then it changed,if i fell asleep there was hypervigilency of checking out every sound. Safety for my family first and foremost. I have no clue how I raised my 3 in college prep high schools, EMT classes and the many hours of clinicals. Then came the PD job in addition to EMT work, paramedic class with clinicals of ride alongs, ER, OR FD, downed building rescue training, a third part…Continue
I woke up this morning with the realization i am just so broken. Inside, outside, intimately, emotionally. How can I ever feel whole and strong again? Its like when you break a treasured gift and there is not enough glue to repair it, make it right. The pieces are so small you can't glue it together without some missing. It's not whole or pretty anymore.
I'm tired of "digging deep, being strong, you can do it, you're the strongest woman I've ever known".. I'm totally broken, pieces…Continue